Kate Bornstein

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Kate Bornstein, born Katherine Vandam Bornstein on March 15, 1948, in Neptune City, New Jersey, is an American author, playwright, performance artist, actor, and gender theorist. They are a pioneering voice on gender and sexuality and have helped many people think differently about who we can be.

Growing up in a conservative Jewish family, Bornstein studied theater at Brown University and later went to Brandeis for graduate school. In 1970, they joined the Church of Scientology and eventually rose to a high rank. They became disillusioned and left in 1982, losing contact with their daughter for a time. After leaving Scientology, Bornstein settled in the lesbian and queer communities of San Francisco, where they began writing and performing.

In the early 1980s, Bornstein started identifying as neither a man nor a woman. They helped start a women’s theater group, worked with San Francisco theater companies, and created works that explored gender in new ways. Their stage pieces often featured multiple characters and spoke openly about what gender means.

Key works and ideas
- Gender Outlaw (1994): A mix of theory, autobiography, and performance that argues gender is a cultural idea, not a fixed binary. It helped many people see gender as something we can rethink.
- My Gender Workbook (1997, updated in 2013 as My New Gender Workbook): A practical book with exercises, comics, and stories to explore gender in creative ways.
- Nearly Roadkill: An Infobahn Erotic Adventure (1996, with Caitlin Sullivan): A speculative novel about online life, gender, and identity; it also helped popularize gender-neutral pronouns in its characters.
- Theater and performance: Bornstein created and performed several one-person shows in the 1990s and 2000s, including works about identity, community, and sanity. They made their Broadway debut in 2018 in Straight White Men.
- Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws (2006): A compassionate guide offering many ways to choose life, inspired by Bornstein’s own experiences with suicidal thoughts.
- Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation (with S. Bear Bergman) and A Queer and Pleasant Danger (2012): Collection of essays, stories, and memoir about transgender life and identity.
- The Nearly Roadkill Reboot (2025): A re-release of their early novel with updates to fit today’s readers.

Personal life and health
Bornstein has lived with their partner, Barbara Carrellas, in New York City. They have also faced health challenges, including lung cancer in 2012, which returned in 2013 but they were later reported cancer-free.

Identity and influence
Bornstein is known as a “gender outlaw”—someone who challenges strict ideas about male and female. They have helped many people think differently about gender and have influenced queer theory, feminism, and LGBTQ+ culture. Their work has sparked conversation and sometimes controversy, including disagreements with parts of the trans community. Bornstein has apologized for some statements about gender spaces and continues to advocate for respectful dialogue about gender and inclusion.

In recent years, Bornstein has described gender as a continuum and emphasized that expression matters more than fitting into a fixed identity. They have described their own gender as flexible and, at times, described as “a little old lady” in terms of expression. Through books, plays, talks, and film, Bornstein remains a powerful voice for exploring who we are beyond traditional gender lines.